May/December Romaces Rule!

Picture of the Month:

I totally beat the secret recipe out of him....

Hey May! How is everybody out there? Welcome back to another wild and crazy
month here with your pal, the Big T. Spring has sprung and this monkey has a bad case
of spring fever. Look out ladies, these lips are coming for you! Once again this year
I'll be attending the circus with my mom this month, scouring the clowns for a new
daddy. I try to get her to shun the Ringling Brothers and go to one of the circuses that
sets up its tent in a parking lot somewhere, but she's not having it. Those are the kinds
of places where I can go and hang out with some true carnie folk. Ain't nothing like it,
my friends. I think in my next life I want to be a carnie. Who wouldn't? I'll also be
hitting the local multiplex a few times this month as summer movie season is officially
underway. I still think I should have had the role of Spider-Man over Whiney Maguire,
but we'll see. Just think of my lanky sock limbs in that happenin' suit - now folks, if that
isn't The Sexy, I don't know what is. And speaking of all of the upcoming flicks, I will
be completing the Sock Wars trilogy of movie clips on the site this month. However, in
keeping with all of the hype, this month's installment won't be posted until May 16th, so
make sure to come back and check that out on my Movies Page. I tried to get Bib
Fortuna to make a cameo in the clip, but he was busy. That's a reference just for all you
Star Wars groupies out there. Your pal Tim likes to keep everyone happy. "I'm a Star
Wars Fan, Honk If You R-2!"

   In other site news, there are a bunch of new sound clips on my Requests Page this
month. I can't say this enough, you guys rock!!!! Keep sending in those awesome
requests for songs and movies and anything else you want to see on the site.   There are
also a couple of new products in the Tim store this month, so check those out. You can
impress all the folks with at the local Memorial Day Cookout. I'm not allowed near the
charcoal pits since an unfortunate briquette accident a few years back. That's all I'm
allowed to say because of the gag order, but let me just warn the kiddies out there that
propane, lighter fluid, burritos and a monkey with a bad digestive system do not mix
well.   Other than my Memorial Day Blowout, I'll be out kicking up my heels most of the
month, so keep an eye out for the punch drunk monkey! You'll probably find me at the
freak clubs, the casino, and anywhere that serves any kind of alcoholic beverage. This
just may be my month to conquer the Dr. Funk at my local Chinese restaurant. As the
menu says, he's one rotten stinker! I will leave you all for now and head out to the
tanning salon - gotta get ready for next month's beach weather! Ladies, start preparing
now for me and my speedo.... Until next month, keep rockin'!

Fondly,

Tim

Recommended Song of the Month: You Ain't All That, by Shanice. Yo mom, this one's for
you.

Recommended BBQ Activity of the Month: Strip Horseshoes. Just don't try it with those
lawn darts, that can turn ugly.

Recommended TV Viewing of the Month: May Sweeps, baby. Curse all of the shows that
leave you in a cliffhanger. Props to Felicity for sneaking in the Series Finale 4 episodes early.
And all you Buffy fans out there, join me in rooting for another death season ender - it's your time
to go now, Dawn. We may see you on my Slap page soon....