How did Santa know just
what I wanted?
Hey
hey hey and a Happy New Year to everyone out there! Welcome to
2003 here at the home of the Big T. As you can see, the site
has been
revamped with a new look. I know some of you out there are
averse to any
kind of change and it may throw you off. To you people I say
this: Get over
it. This sock has got to change with the times, man.
And to the rest of you I
say this: hope you like it! I've added a few new
features that I'm all excited
to tell you about, so I'm just going to jump in with those right
away. There
is a new advice column on the site written by yours truly.
I've been asked a
few times about starting something like this in the past, so I've
finally decided
to do it. The page is called Ask
Tim, and I'll be answering all kinds of
queries from you folks out there. So feel free to start
asking me about all of
your worries, concerns, weird habits, problems with pet armadillos,
etc. You
can send your questions here.
One of my handlers will be going through the
questions and giving me the best ones to answer, so I may not be
able to
answer each one individually. A sock has to have some time to
go out
drinking, you know?
In
addition to my new advice column, my favorite cousin Mark
has set me
up with another beautiful addition to the site. It's the Tim
Makeover Game,
and you can dress me up with different hats, eyes, and all kinds of
other
things to give me some happenin' looks. The game requires
Shockwave, so
if you don't have it, you can get it here.
Have fun! There's also a new movie
clip on my Movies Page this
month. My pal Dante had suggested I do 'A
Few Good Socks' as one of my movies. What he didn't know at
the time was
that I auditioned for the Tom Cruise role in 'A Few Good Men' way
back
when. I flubbed my audition royally because I was so nervous
to be in the
presence of such great star power. I dug up my failed screen
test tape, so
you can check it out and see what not to do on an audition,
kiddies. Boy,
have I learned my lesson. There's also a gaggle of new song
requests up on
my Sounds page this month, as well as a
new inductee on my Slap Page. I
know adding Mr. Dave Matthews to my slap page may enrage some of
you,
but I really don't give a flying fig. He makes my little ears
bleed pantyhose
when I hear him whine. And that squinting and that dancing
and the granola
and the grating voice and the...and I must stop or I may start
vomiting
chickpeas. And I'm not sure I've ever actually eaten a
chickpea. In any
event, I'm done. Phew.
Twins!
I
hope everyone had a great holiday last month. I'm looking forward
to a rockin' new year with lots of adventures and surprises.
Well, the good
kind of surprises, not the "Ha ha, you put a cockroach in my
underwear"
kind. I'm planning some trips in the spring, but hopefully
I'll be able to head
to L.A. soon because I really can't take this snow business.
Tell that
freakin' Edward Scissorhands enough already with the flakes!
This stupid
snow can really limit a sock's shoe choice, you know what I'm
saying?
Sheesharoni. Mayhaps I should get back to reading some
scripts, so I shall
leave you all for now. Hope you like the new look of the
site. Feel free to
drop me a line and say
hello anytime. I love hearing from all of you folks out
there. If you're jonesing for anything from last year's
monthly jive, you can
find it down below under 'Old Stuff.' Hope you all have a
great month and a
Rockin' New Year's Celebration! Get tanked for me....
Until we meet again -
Tim
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