"I pity the fool who doesn't have a Happy Halloween!"

     What is up, kiddies??!!  Welcome to the haunted month of October here with 
   the big T.  As you can see above, I've decided to masquerade as Mr. T this year.  I
   mean come on, it was jut inevitable that one day I'd make use of my nickname and pay
   tribute to the guy.  (For those of you tracking trivia for the Tim home game, I like to 
   tell people that I got my name in honor of Tiny Tim.  And I mean the freakalicious 
   singer [may he rest in peace], not the Christmas Carol brat.)  But anyway, who doesn't
   love themselves some Mr. T?  The guy is a legend!  In fact, I got so into my costume
   this year that some of my antics were caught on video.  Go to my Movies Page to 
   check it out.   I was toying with the idea of dressing up as Johnny Fever this year, until
   I was informed by a number of people that they didn't know who that was.  I wept that
   day.  Who hasn't seen WKRP??  Johnny Fever was the MAN!!!  I was even going to 
   make another monkey dress up as Venus Flytrap.  Even less people knew who that 
   was.  And again with the weeping....  

     Since last month, I've come across a few things online that have both made me 
   laugh and made me howl with anger.  The first one is the funny thing.  Well, I think it's
   funny - my mom, eh - not so much.  But I kept telling her that it was bound to happen.
   After 8 years of remaining faceless on the site, she has been outed!  This is what 
   happens when she gets careless and forgets her rule about letting others take her 
   picture with me.   Outed!!!  Now onto the howling - there seems to be a "fan" or some
   "fans" of mine who have stolen pages off of my website and are trying to pass them 
   off as their own.  Apparently, they didn't bother to read the copyright message on the
   bottom of my main page.  Anyway, y'all know where the real sock is, and it's right 
   here, so just watch out for imposters and their e-mail and AIM addresses.  Good 
   golly.  I feel a little bad for the poor kid because as I warned people, I've had to get
   Vern involved.  I just don't think people understand how much you don't want to mess
   with Vern.   And hey kid, also?  If you're going to rip me off, at least be original about
   it.  I've seen some good knockoff sites that haven't had to stoop to the level of 
   actually lifting anything from my site.  Find your own monkey, because this one is 
   taken, beeyotch.  Sorry to the rest of you folks - I didn't mean to get so ranty.  But 
   then again, you all know how I am.  And with that, I deliver the biggest slap ever to the
   site thieves.  [SMACK!]  Morons. 

      Now that that nasty business is out of the way, I can get down to what I enjoy 
   most about this month, which is planning to eat lots of candy, eating lots of candy, and
   using multiple costumes to score with quadruple the number of women.  Ah, it's a good
   life.  I also plan to spend some time begging my mom to take me to Nate's Annual
   Halloween bash.  She never lets me go!!!  Meanie.  Anyway, hope you all have a 
   properly ghoulish month, and I'll catch you all next time!